on loving love...and those who do so.

so, i'm a firm believer in a few things. one of them being the fact that there are several individuals out there that just plain love love. they fall in love with it and crave it and mourn it when it's gone...

and if i must say so myself, i find it quite amazing. or perhaps unusual. if you couldn't tell by my word choice and organization, i am not a member of the love lovers population. now, we could spend several hours, psycho-analyzing the reasons that I am not a love lover type...but let's just decide not to do that.

instead, let's discuss these love lovers. what typically happens is this...guy meets girl, girl and guy begin a relationship, girl and guy fall in love, relationship between girl and guy goes bad, and the true colors of the love lover(s) shine bright. now, when the loving love begins is difficult for me to determine, as i've never been a love lover or even involved with one, for that matter.

now, you might be wondering what the hell the difference between love and love loving is...well, in my humble opinion, it's huge. love is directed at a particular individual and everything that comes along with that individual. it's an admiration for who the person is now, what they believe in, hope for, aspire to be..it's all about the connection and adoration you have with and for another person.

love loving on the other hand, is directed at the emotion itself, the feelings that you get when you are in love, the comfortability that comes along with it, and the love lovers will take that feeling any way that they can get it.

this is where we get to the craziness. how far will a love lover go? incredibly far, i've learned.

those who are in love with someone, of course, mourn the loss of the person in their life, as they once were, how they felt about them, and i'm sure struggle with the thought of the required radio silence (according to experienced lovers) and what follows (or doesn't).

but, the love lovers...they handle it all differently. they want so badly the feelings, the emotions, the "feel-good," that they ignore the rest. they forget it all. put it all aside. they look past what caused the break up or who the person is now, compared to who they were, or EVEN who the person actually is versus who they thought he/she was. to me, it's simply amazing.

now, don't get me wrong, i'm not knocking it...alright, well maybe i'm borderline opposed to the whole idea...but i'm much more intrigued than anything else.

what is it that makes someone lose all rationale? throw all sane thought out the window for the "feel-good?"

maybe there is something out there, something more powerful than love for another...something i've not yet experienced, and something that i will understand only when i do. perhaps it truly is just a lack of experience on my part.

or maybe love lovers are more dependent or weak or various other descriptive words used when psycho-analyzing...

and maybe not. perhaps in a world stock full of forced reality, the love lovers are right. stand tall (or slightly leaning) with heart in hand, think think think hard about the feel good that comes with the love loving and wish and hope and dream, as only a dreamer or a love lover could do....

a tribute to some friends. that will probably never read this.

i have them...i know, it's hard to believe. but i do. all over the darn country, in fact. and for all those that i don't see often, i wonder about what they're up to and how they're doing and all that jazz. now, a forewarning- this is going to get sentimental. so here goes.

the great thing about friends that are really true friends is that in the times that you need them most, the times you just can't imagine how you'll keep on going...they just show up. from wherever it is that they were. and there they are. ready to take on whatever you are. to hold you up when you can't barely consider standing.

i feel lucky, fortunate, blessed, if you will, to have people like that in my life. to have friends that treat each other like gold, that drop their lives to keep yours going. i also feel fortunate that i haven't needed that type of support myself. but i have witnessed it through & through...and even lent a strong arm to help keep some standing...but because, geographically, of where i was and am...my efforts will never compare to those that i have in mind.

i guess what i'm trying to say here is this. beck, kris, jul...you define true friendship. and you don't even know it, nor would it effect you if you did. you're always there...from the happiest moments to the absolute lows...and you know exactly what to do to get through them. you love deep and it shows. i love you girls very much. so this is a tribute to you....even though you'll probably never read this...but that's not what matters. you are.

our 1 year. and the bronx zoo!

so, according to my standards...september 18th was the date of my one year anniversary...although some critics believe it was august 26th...and so we've agreed to disagree on that one.

anyhow..we decided that a trip to the bronx zoo would be an excellent way to celebrate, neither of us being the fancy dinner or roses type, it was just perfect...although somehow i did end up with a rose out of this. hmm.

so we took the subway right on up there and hopped off and in we went to the bronx zoo. memories of my last visit, in 3rd grade, with my mom as a chaperone for the school trip quickly flashed back. boy did i like that chris wystepek back then. ha.

we went big and got the "do it all" pack...meaning the monorail, skyride, gorillas, and all...which was well worth it. especially because i had never done the skyride, or tiger mountain! the gorillas were our favorite, especially my little guy. the kids that were there were banging on the windows and sticking their tongues out at the little guy and he came over to the window and did it right back to them! it was great. he was great, i was just about ready to take him home.

we also enjoyed the polar bear- who wil says is really mean- and i wouldn't like if i really met him. and the tigers! those on tiger mountain, that is, not to be confused with the ones on the monorail.

we took many photos and thoroughly enjoyed our day with the animals. an fantastic way to celebrate, in my humble opinion.

storm king!

so wil came up with the excellent idea of taking a voyage up to storm king art center in or around cornwall, ny. and an excellent idea it was. the place is a vast area, several hundreds of acres of land, sparsely decorated with immense, and not so immense sculptures. it is beautiful.

wil and i headed out early, to get a whole day in, stopped at a deli for a little picnic lunch and ventured into the depths of storm king. there are neat little woods trails off of the main grounds that we loved. as well as a picnic area for the lunch consumption, and a really neat old house, which they use to keep smaller sculptures indoors.

we pretty much walked the entire center and had a lovely time doing so..my favorites were this one over here on the right, as well as this really neat stone wall that an artist built, winding around through the woods and trees. it's really beautiful.

after our picnic and some serious amounts of exploring, we found a perfect spot for some much napping under a lovely little tree.

once re-energized, we continued the exploring and headed on home. a perfectly lovely day it was.

loren & labor day...

my summer went out with a bang...was quite an excellent, and welcomed, end to a blazing hot summer (although, unfortunately, the heat fights on). sept 2nd marked the long anticipated day that my BFF from SF arrived at JFK (holy acronyms batman).


we had a lovely long weekend, with time spent shopping for he-man, hulk, & ninja turtles at love saves the day, which is, in my personal opinion- the best store ever. it was quite excellent to have a buddy like lor finally be able to come and hang and experience NY my style. we had a super duper time involving serious amounts of laughter. as well as serious amounts of pizza and lots of village fun.




other highlights included the fabulous labor day roof party- attended by my warwickian buds, some UD friends, and various other fun folk. party involved a bar set up in the kitchen for mixed drinks, buckets o beers on the roof, and hors' d'ouvres made and passed out by the roomie. music was provided..although can't say i recollect much of what was played...and good times were basically had by all.


labor day also marked my last weekend of non-student status...as I began my first pre-MBA courses at Fordham that following week...there's nothing like statistics on a saturday morning at 9 am. it's quite lovely if i must say so myself. my math methods for business is actually working out well for me, but also happens to be on tuesday night...which is quite a bit more appealing than saturday morning.

and....i guess that...that just about wraps up the loren and labor day fun.

...and the never-ending trip home

...and so you may have guessed from the way the last update ended...the trip home was a far cry from normal. or easy...to say the least.

disclaimer/ warning label: lengthy experiences described in high detail found below....

it progressed something like this...

i de-boarded and asked the ferry ticket attendant where to catch the bus.
she responded, "well, you are supposed to catch it at the bottom of the ramp...but uhh..it's not very reliable."

hmm. not very reassuring...so i call Bonanza/ Peter Pan, to verify the time & they say "6:30pm".

with a little time pondering, i recalled that it really shouldn't be 6:30pm, so, feeling paranoid, I call again & decide i'll even make sure that they accept debit/ credit cards.

"6:35pm at the state ferry and yes, we take debit/ credit." phew.

6:30pm -- "LAST FERRY TO MARTHA'S VINEYARD, ALL ABOARD!"

6:35pm -- The ferry security guy pulls over and asks, "Are you okay? What are you waiting for?"

I let him know everything is fine, just waiting for the bus to NY.

His response, "Good luck."

Apparently, I should have taken that as a hint...

Well..around 6:40pm, i began to get nervous...this is the last bus to New York...hmm.

i decide that 6:45 pm is a good time to call up again...and...um, right...get hung up on.

Let's try that again... and after many minutes of holding, i get a "hello" and an update that the bus is running about 20 minutes late (well...by now it's running 30 min..but okay)...and wait a minute!

There she is...Bonanza / Peter Pan, rounding the corner. I gladly hang up with my friends at the call center, and quickly approach the bus pick up area.

As I board the bus with smiles ear to ear, the driver asks, "Where are you headed?"

"Well, New York (of course)."

From the driver, "I'm going to Hyannis (area near Cape Cod). The NY bus already came through. How long you been here?"

I respond, "Since 6 PM, there's no way I missed it."

He says, "Well, you know it's quite a hassle to come here and do this pick up here. I don't even understand why we have to do it."

"So, are you trying to say that it's very possible that the bus just didn't pick up here?!," I say.

"Anything is possible."

"Oh great..and that means I'm stranded here. Can you try to contact that driver? They said it was running late, maybe it's still just running late."

The Hyannis driver tries to contact the NY driver to no avail and then explains how he now must get going...

...and my thoughts: I am going to be stranded in New Bedford tonight.

The rest of the night proceeded with the sun setting...the phone calls continuing...until finally a 15 minute conversation occurs with a guy at good ole Bonanza / Peter Pan call center...and he tells me the truth...

"Bus left on time. 6:00 pm, from the Bus Terminal. Guess he didn't do the pick up at the ferry. No more buses tonight."

I believe it was the cracking in my voice that made this guy realize that he was leaving me stranded on a ferry dock, in the middle of nowhere...as I should have been en route to NY...so he made some calls, put forth his best effort and I ended up...right where I was...sitting on my bag on a dark, empty ferry dock, with the comfort of knowing that there are no buses within 50 miles...and none coming to town until 6 AM..and no train tracks that run through this said New Bedford.

Lovely.

I called my boyfriend, pretty distraught...explained the situation...and asked for some internet help in figuring something out.

By the time he called back I was in a car with the aforementioned Security Guard...getting a ride to the nearest taxi area.

I had decided to spend the night in New Bedford, which was, according to all, not a safe area.

My taxi driver was old and scary and talking to me as I kept my boyfriend on the phone, truly...for safety purposes.

After he pretty much refused to give me my change back, I jumped out of the taxi, frazzled and seeking a place to stay.

I checked into a Comfort Inn and walked to my room, which housed a fairly diisgusting stink, as well as a bed, missing one pillow. Special.

Well, my boyfriend called and had me all set to call another taxi company to get a ride to Providence, RI and he had bought me a train ticket from there to Penn Station! Yay, get me the hell out of this place.

The taxi driver approached, blasting hip hop music and into the cab I went (only after checking out about 15 minutes before checking in...and later being charged $97 to do so).

I asked the driver if I could stop at an ATM and he said sure...then proceeded to call several people on his cell phone.After hanging up, he asked if I would mind if we picked up his wife....sure, why the hell not, at this point.
So, off we go, to pick up his wife, and hopefully, get to an ATM.

As we drive, the taxi driver tells me of the dangers of New Bedford, of the time when his buddy saw his Mom get her head shot off, right in the street...and then, all about how he never thought he'd send his kids to school with guns...but, now that he's here, he's really considering it.

Wow, well now I feel a lot better. At least we're in a safe area.

After the wife pick-up, and an offer to stop at Dunkin Donuts for a Turbo Blast...we proceed to Providence, RI...in hopes that I'll actually catch this train.

After about 25 minutes, the driver asks me if I know how to get there.

Yes, really, he did. Now, at this point, if I were you, I'd be #1) tired of reading, and #2) amazed that this could all happen in one day/ night, to one person...unless you know me, of course, and understand the life of danielle, as i know it...oh so well.

Now, I, of course, have no f-in idea how to get from New Bedford, MA to Providence, RI...I had just found out New Bedford was in MA, not CT, earlier that day...come on now. So we travel onwards...his wife says a few words about which way to go...and then he asks me if I know which exit to get off at, in Providence......ohhh, okay...sure, let me just pull that one out of my ass.

No, kind sir (he actually was quite kind), I don't. we finally decide it's a good idea to call the cab company. phew. sigh of relief...and I make it there. and say my farewells to my new friends of New Bedford, MA...and only hope that I make it home, to NY, in one piece....

...and thank goodness...I do...the words of the Hyannis driver lingering in my head...I guess it's true.."Anything" really "can happen"...

good times at the vineyard

so i did it. i went on vacation with my BF and his family. by the reactions i have received both before and after the trip, i assume that many people view vacations with the family of your significant other as 1) nerve-wracking, 2) awkward, and 3)obligatory. i, as one, felt none of those emotions prior to the trip, during, or after it. so, i now consider myself lucky. who knew. or maybe just comfortable.

the destination was martha's vineyard and the entire vacation was superb. for those new to the setup, the vineyard requires a fairly long drive through CT & MA, ending with a lovely ferry trip from woodshole, ma to the island. all in all, i was left with a very sweet taste in my mouth. i near decided to never return home, and just live the lovely vineyard life forever. as you might have guessed, that didn't happen. i, in fact, have returned home to live the city life..for some time.

highlights of the vacation include: jumping off bridges into the water with my BF's entire family (yes, including his mom, she's rad!), witnessing the BEST body surfing display EVER seen by mankind (he was Superman, i swear), many thoroughly enjoyed G&T's with his sister, and listening to them sing old british and american folk music on the porch, amongst, of course, many other great times.

his family friends were just as great as his family...listen to me...i sound enamored. ha. well, guess i was...

my spirits were running high all the way through my romantic goodbye. i gazed out into the sunset, enjoying each and every minute on the "fast ferry" to new bedford, ma, whereupon i would arrive at the ferry station and pick up the bonanza/ peter pan bus to new york...or so i hoped...

and we reunite, on old stompin grounds nonetheless

so it was exactly what i hoped for and needed. an awesome reunion. good people. good beer. good times had by all. it had probably been a little over 3 years since i had seen some of those UD folks..and without getting sentimental...it stands true that everything goes back to normal when true friends reunite...it definitely didn't matter who had been where doing what...we were the same damn crazy kids on 7/30/05 that were were back in '00, '01 and '02.(see pics) okay, so i lied....that was totally sentimental. sorry. try and forget that i just did that...forgotten?..okay, thanks.

anyhow, we rocked the quiet, fairly desolate town of newark, de in a serious way. and after the amount of fun that was had, i hope we continue to rock various towns and cities alike. and on that note, i intend to party it up in my humble abode with a little labor day roof party...i'll keep you updated as the details unfold.

aside from the reunion festivities, the rest of my ever-exciting life is just plain moving along. i can't say for certain which direction it's moving, but i can affirm that it's in motion. i've applied for a pre-mba program at fordham. i've had the much needed, yet highly dreaded monetary "discussions" at work....i almost feel like my life is in the eye of the storm right now....give it a few weeks and you'll probably find me in the heart of the whirlwinds...i can just feel it coming...

and to summarize...

so, its officially been about 2 months that i've #1- lived in the city , #2- posted a new entry...so, essentially, that means #1- i suck, #2- my life has been nothing but busy- with what? well, you've got me.

june was a month of lots of purchases. and trips upstate for various reasons. purchases including the following: kitchen table. bed. bathroom stuff. tv stand. very lovely magnetic spice rack. amongst many other boring items.
reasons for trips upstate including the following: father's day. dad's birthday. mom's wedding crisis (to be discussed in another entry). wildwood (actually diamond beach) trip with dad and company.

so it was a busy month, in which i spent about five minutes actually living in my apartment. the five minutes that i was living there, i was lucky enough to enjoy the Pride Parade, which passes right on by Christopher St....arguably the happiest damn parade i've ever see...i'd even have to say the highlight of my month might have been that there day-- watching the parade from the roof with some neighbors, tossing back a few beers, then watching the fireworks from the roof with the boyfriend. good times had by all.

july has been fairly enjoyable. a month of many decisions. and actions to follow. kind of tuckers me out just thinking about it, actually. where's my pillow? anyhow, let's see-- signed up to take the GMATs (finally), decided I'd like to take some Pre-MBA courses this fall, decided i need to make more $$, requiring stressful discussions with bosses, decided that i'd like to concentrate in information systems if and when i get this said MBA, decided to consolidate some debt, decided it was due time to update my resume, decided i wanted new projects (in addition to current) at work (decided i might be crazy)...and that just about does it. now that i've bored you to death and exhausted myself, i'm ready for bed.

okay, just kidding. but, aside from a super relaxing family vacation to diamond beach, that's the type of month that it has been.

on the bright some, i did have some stress-free moments including previously discussed vacation, the bravery show at webster hall, a random thursday night out with the roommate, and last night's hilarious show (Lesion) on the LES, with my BF's sister and her BF...this weekend brings a voyage to DE, for my girls and i (and some boys) to reunite in our old stomping grounds of Newark, DE. now that should be a perfect way to erase July's completely filled To Do List right off that chalkboard...can't wait.

Pic

the hunt- part II

...so the saga continues...and only gets better and better...
i'll try and keep this as short and sweet as possible...
i found an add on reliable ole craigslist that mentioned the breaking of a lease in the w.village and i jumped on it.
called the girl right on up.
she said that her friend would be showing the apt, as she was away on vacation, but we could see it tomorrow, and if we liked it, call her ASAP-- worked for me.
bit weird, but whatever.
went to see the apt that next night and VOILA, we both loved it!
took some pics to remember it, called the girl up while we were still there and she said we were the first to say "its a go," that it was ours and she'd call tomorrow....

well messages were exchanged and she finally called the next day, said "yes, its yours"....
so, needless to say, we're thrilled, as we're SO tired of looking at shitholes located 10 miles from the subway.

Yippee--i check out the pictures i took and i show some co-workers and i allow myself some excitement!

Hmm...in looking at the pics, i realize...weird...all the clothes in both of these BRs are mens' clothes. no womens clothes anywhere...and now that i think about it, there was absolutely nothing in the bathroom, or apt in general that indicated that any sort of female lived there...there were, in fact, really long snowboards, rather.

hmm, weird.
no way a female, this said girl, could live there.
but what do i care.
we can live there now!!!

well, approximately an hour later, i receive a vmail, requesting for me to call said girl back, as some things have changed.

so i do...and suddenly there's this new person that looked at the place before we did, that she forgot about, that is conveniently offering to pay said girl big $$$ for moving expenses, which, according to her, "really would help."

i hang up leaving said girl with the impression that i will consider paying her more than the other non-existant potential tenant is offering her, for these moving expenses.....

...and i think about it.
and talk it over with the roommate. we really do like that apt...but seriously...she sucks.
so we look at a few other apartments that night, b/c really, who is this girl?
she doesn' t even live there.
greedy little bitch.
well, the other apts suck, what a surprise.
i head to the train around 7:30pm, in hopes of making it home by 10:00 pm (the glory of long commuting).

and after a day of utter disappointment, i find myself in hoboken train station with an extremely bitter taste in my mouth.

so, i decide to call said greedy little bitch girl back.
what is there to lose?
i'm not going to get her stupid apt, b/c i'm not going to smother her in $$, to help her move out of a place she clearly doesn't live in.

and i proceed to say exactly this:

"hi 'said greedy little bitch girl'...yeah, well we thought about it and...really, $500, even $1000 bucks isn't going to break our banks...but, its not actually that...its the morality of it all...and honestly, i don't think Mautner Glick (her mgmt co) would be thrilled to know that you're extorting money out of potential tenants...for an apt that you don't even live in..that place was filled with men's clothes..."

said girl responds, "i have roommates...my boyfriend lives there..."

i continue, in a firm danielle voice, "well, whatever, i'm not going to do anything about it, i'm just really sorry that it had to be this way, we really liked the place, but oh well....good luck."

and i hung up.
what a gratifying feeling it was.
even though it left me without apt.
but hell, that's where i was before, anyhow right?
well, just as i'm thinking all this through, my phone rings...its said greedy bitch girl...
...great, now i get to hear an earful about threatening her...

i answer anyhow.
and the conversation goes something like this,

"hi danielle.."
"yes."
"well, i really didn't like how that conversation ended."

"yeah, well, i'm sorry but i am sick and tired of all of this bullshit..i've looked at a million apts and gone through enough shit that i couldn't help it, i was just being honest."

"yeah....well, i know. and i don't like what you said to me. and i spoke with my fiance and i've been through all that too. and it sucked and i'm finally getting the hell out of NY after 11 years. i've been kicked out of apts, gone on vacations to come back to my stuff in the hall, all kinds of stuff. and i don't want to leave NY on a bad note. so, if you and your roommate really want the place, its yours. but you have to tell me that you're going to walk into the mgmt company and say you want it."

"well, of course we want it, definitely."
"okay, i'll get in touch with them tomorrow and set everything up."
"okay, great, thanks."

so, low and behold....i found an apartment by being honest in NY...how ironic...
its in the West Village...a 2 BR with living area, eat in kitchen, top floor walk up, for $1850/ month--

yes....miracles do happen.

the hunt- part I

go ahead. say it. i know. i'm a slacker.
with a valid excuse, of course.
i was on the hunt.
and quite a hunt it's been.

finding an apartment in NY might be properly compared with running a marathon, but one in which fierce, biting dogs are strategically placed at each mile point, ready to chew your exhausted self up.

yes, i mean it.

the marathon being the "tiring, exhausting, when shall i ever reach the finish line, will it be before i die?" part and the fierce dogs being the brokers that knaw at every edible inch of you.

its really fun though. i swear.

no, on a serious note though, should you have an unlimited budget and/or not care where you live, i'm sure its quite the pleasant experience.

i, as one, have a limited budget and apparently, "fine taste" in neighborhoods. i want to spend around $2000 for a 2 BR and i would like for it to be in one of the following 'hoods: E.Village, W.Village, any Village, Chelsea, and up the West Side, (if need be).

now, for all those that are residing/ have resided in NYC, you probably just laughed your asses off for a good five minutes.

yes, that's my budget and yes, that's where i want to live.

no worries, don't feel bad...i've been laughed at innumerable times now, by my favorite population of humans, the brokers.

and then they usually proceed to tell me that the $2000 apt in the E.Village, that they posted five minutes ago is already rented out, but they have one for me for $2500 in East Jabib, proper. Wow, thanks and my name is, in fact, Ignorant Idiot.

phew, well, with that being said,..i have found some really decent places within my budget.

miracles do happen.
of course, the first one fell through.
and the second.
and on the 3rd- 10th, i received no return phone calls.
and after the 11th, after supplying all of our info, the guarantor info that i should never had been required to submit...it once again, fell through

...i can thank a lying, dirty, money-scoundreling female broker for that one- what a surprise, right?!
no, i'm not bitter or anything....really, i'm not...

what i want!

okay..i know..i still didn't even write the aforementioned "INTJ to a T"...its coming...instead, i'm writing about what i want. thanks to www.astrobarry.com, i've been made aware of the fact that now is a time to think about what we want and let it all out...whether it be to ourselves or to the world at large! i, as one, am letting it out to the world at large (although i'm quite aware that approximately 2 people probably read this..). anyhow...here goes...this is what I want:
a i want a career that fulfills my need to express my creativity, that provides me with challenges regularly and that allows me more freedom and the ability to make my own decisions
a i want to be able to stop worrying about whether i can make the bills each month
a i want the ability to help my family out, financially, with whatever they need
a i want for my sister and father to begin speaking to each other once again
a i want to be understood by my family
a i want for the person that i loved to know that i loved him, to understand why i did what i did and to know that i will always care
a i want to be strong enough to run another 12k
a i want to hike Zion, Arches, Olympia, Glacier
a i want to find a great apt in NY
a i want to travel to New Zealand, Italy, & Alaska
a i want my friends from SF to move back East
a i want peace in Israel and Palestine
a i want the war to stop...now.
a i want to forever be curious, to constantly open my eyes to new ideas & perspectives
a i want to continue to love and be loved
so that's that...that's what i want...there, its been said aloud...you should try it..the value of open expression is far too underrated...

recent where-abouts & who-abouts...

hellooo. its been awhile. i'm still here. really. in an effort to summarize the events of weeks' past, i shall efficiently utilize the bullet point technique. here goes:
aSt. Patty's Day in NY- Begins with a surprise visit by my younger brother Mike, his GF, and friend Steve. His drinking begins around noon, thus excitement is quite built up by 5pm, causing him to do the Irish jig in the lobby of my work building while yelling, "That's my sis!" as I come down the "elbow room-only" packed escalator amongst many co-workers. A thrillingly humorous way to begin the evening. Highlights of the night including my first experience with Chamay, man that told me he could fall in love with me right that second as he stared into my frightened eyes and I quickly retreated, catching up with my old friend Andrew, my lovely abbreviated commute the following morning (55th to downtown is muuuch better than the typical 2 1/2 hours).
aThe Daily Drag- Work. Work. Work. and more Work. But, no worries, its an "honor." Right. And so is staying late to complete the "honorable work". mmmmhhmmm. Highlights: Purchasing an entirely new outfit (minus pants) for a mere $11...curious to see whether outfit shall come out of washing machine in wearable state, or whether i shall be donating it to a small child...
aShannon is coming!- Yippee! Shannon visits from SF and we hit up Scruffy Duffy's for the night. Highlights: Catching up on SF dramas, endless laughing (neck muscles sore for 2 days), Shan likes her b'day present, running down 33rd street to try to catch PATH, to then catch train, hearing "hey baby, can i run with youuu?" as I run, proceeding to miss the PATH, catching later PATH, proceeding to miss the train, contemplating the comfortability of the Hoboken terminal benches for a good nights' rest, being saved by friend that offers to pick me up at 2am in good old Suffern. Ahh, the relief.
aI am the Winner!- Yet again, I take the cake on the Easter Egg coloring contest. This year, not just once, but twice-- Mom's and Dad's...and I'm sure I would've beat Shan & Ricky like I did last year. =) I know, its normal to get so riled up about eggs and yes, I'm humble about the whole winning thing.
aEndings...- All sorts of them, really...including the ceremonial clutter clearing- I've been dragging crap I don't use all over the country for years now- from NY to DE to NY to SF to NY again...since 1998...yeah, i guess it's time to get rid of the old things when you haven't even tried them on since high school. Endings also including the realization that when something doesn't work, it doesn't work, and that is that...
a...& Beginnings- the preparation for the big move to the city is finally underway...as is the roommate quest (although I may have found one already!)...as is the studying for the GMATs...as is the official quest to figure out "what should my career really be?" (okay, you're right, i've been trying to figure that out endlessly for years now-- but its different this time, i swear). See INTJ to a "T" for more details.....

i'll take it old man winter...i'll take it.

I became truly ecstatic this morning at the prospect of spring on its way. I could feel the sun beating down on my back as I walked down Bergen Street playing the temperature guessing game. How warm is it? 45? 48? 42?
I have always considered myself a true "fan" of the winter season. I was born in the heart of the winter, I LOVE the snow, I love Christmas, I love hats & scarves and I thoroughly enjoy snowboarding (regardless of my lacking skills).

But, this winter in NY was pivotal.

I may never again look at winter in the same lustrous light.

Perhaps it was the typical 2 1/2 hour (one way) commute into the city, that, with snow, became a 3 1/2 hour commute. Or maybe it was the fact that on weekends, I wanted to do something aside from looking out the window and saying, "Wow, it snowed again. I wonder how the roads are." Or possibly it was my recently becoming one of those "always cold" people. At times throughout this past winter, I truly questioned whether or not I just might freeze at any given moment. I even deeply considered whether it was in fact humanly possible to transform into an icicle.

And all that, really…just not that fun.

The first snow will forever be as amazing to me as it has always been.

And don't get me wrong, the occasional blizzard can still be a splendid time.

But, what I've come to realize is this. Winter is a magnificent, incredible season…. for all those who can sit back and relax with a cup of coffee and watch the storm roll in, watch the snow accumulate, for those children whose eyes can still light up with the sight of the glistening white snow and the hopes of a snow day….
…but, unfortunately, for all of those people who have to continue with their daily routines, it just plain sucks.
So, truly, perhaps I'm just bitter. Bitter that snow days no longer exist. Bitter that my cubicle has no windows. Bitter cold, really.

And that brings me back to the fact that I was, and am, truly ecstatic at the prospect of spring…the smells of spring in the air, the trees blossoming, the flowers blooming and the people of NY coming out from under their fuzzy scarves.

'Tis truly a spectacular time of the year.

Having said all of this-- the ecstatic moods, the blossoming & blooming, the smiles coming out from hiding, the spectacular time of the year-- you really have to wonder whether or not the winter was created to make us appreciate the spring.

Well, if so, mission accomplished.

Everyone and everything just seems to come to life…and everyone is talking about it. It's like the hottest new club on the LES just opened up. There is not a single day this week that I haven't heard someone in the elevator jabbing excitedly about it.

So, guess what folks, I've decided I'll take it.

I'll take the (often times) dreadful winter days in exchange for my glorious turning of spring. In exchange for my smiles abound and outdoor plans abundant. In exchange for my flowers blooming. And my trees blossoming…

...ahhhh the oh-so-anticipated, the lively and the joyous days of the spring…there really is no time quite like springtime now, is there…


(PS- I lost the temperature guessing game. It was, in fact, only 33 degrees this morning. Yes, 33, as in 1 degree higher than freezing. Really. And I was and still am giddy about it…see what i mean...)

...'twas a sea of green people...

...really.
you know that feeling you have (for me, it often occurs toward the end of the dreary winters) when you are just itching to get out of town. you can just feel it in your bones. well, i had a serious case of the itches a couple weeks back. so i planned a little trip to the good ole jersey shore. i know, i know...who the hell goes to the jersey shore during the winter? well, a girl that is saving up for a move into manhattan, and also, conveniently, has a grandmother with a vacation home down there.

so the jersey shore was the spot to cure the itches. and off chloe and i went on friday night. now, we knew, of course, that we were headed to the shore, but little did we know, we were actually headed into an sea of green people...like i said....really.

everything seemed normal. and quiet. until late saturday morning. i began to notice an unusual number of people around for your average winter weekend at the shore.

and then it started happening. kilts. shamrocks. tremendous green hats. large decorative floats. and cops shutting down roads....yup, you guessed it...st. patrick's day...and a parade.

chloe and i seemed to have picked the weekend of the (largely celebrated) st. patrick's day parade. after some shopping, and a brief accidental appearance in the parade (yes, we actually ended up in the parade, somehow), we decided to join in on the festivites.

being unaware that these festivities were going on, and being mostly italian, there was no green in the wardrobe for this particular weekend. but, hey, everyone is irish on st. patrick's day right? green or no green. so, off we went to our favorite little pub three blocks down, with thoughts of their fabulous food and a couple of beers with the irish.
en route, we crossed paths with many side-steppers, wannabe pirates (?), kilt-wearing band members, and young drunk guys who, apparently, were asking us to come with them to the next bar (this is where i admit to the fact that i never actually realize that i'm being hit on until approximately 30 minutes later-- and sometimes, never. sometimes i have to be told...yeah, some might call it oblivious). but that's aside from the point.

point-being...each and every one of them, not only wearing green but wearing a smile that was an obvious indication of the fact that we were a few behind on the beers. we arrived at the pub, chloe finished her cigarette (note: bouncer looked oddly at us when she did this & it wasn't until much later that we realized why-- you can smoke in bars in jersey-- we should have just been wearing signs that said 'sorry--i'm a damn italian from NY') and inside we went.

the tables were all gone and replaced with kegs, thus eliminating any thoughts of food that we had previously had. we decided to ponder the thought of eating elsewhere over a couple of Rolling Rocks (the apparent beer of choice for the celebration). and then one Bass (i switched it up-- its my all time fav) led to the next...and the next. and the...hmm, i lost count...and there was some irish jigging, and singing & dancing, a drunk guy acting like he was going to burn my purse (don't ask..i have no idea why) and new friends referring to me as "Danni-Girl"...all in all a jolly good time was had with the Irish...until we side-stepped our way home (really, who cares about dinner?) and passed out (i'd be lying if i didn't mention that a little drunk dialing did occur before the passing out...riight riiight).

now, the funny part is..this was at 8:30pm. really. and i only woke up in order to regurgitate the Bass that must have been sitting quite lonely in my stomach. and then pass out again. with that being said, i really should have been wearing a shirt that said "i'm a damn italian from NY that can't hold her liquor," because that's what i was thinking.

well, at least now i know that for next year...green shirt...learn the jig....and do some serious drinking in preparation for celebrating with the ole irish of the jersey shore...

purposeless living?! no...really.

so i recently had my numbers done.

i, as one, consider myself to be fairly well-versed in the world of astrology and the like (ok..maybe a stretch)..well, than, at least a step or two ahead of the average horoscope reader, if you will...(fine..fine..)..i know this much: i am an aquarian. my moon is in virgo. my rising is capricorn. and i'm a hierophant. i am AT LEAST quite well-versed about aquarians. i must say, i do know a bit about virgos. i'm fairly familiar with the capricorns. and i've been introduced to the characteristics of the hierophants.

buuut, numerology. add your birthday up, right? month-date-year, right? apparantly, WRONG. i thought i knew it all about the ole numbers. but, i have been proved wrong. (and its not just #s either-- its letters in your name & all kinds of crazy things).

anyhow. point being, numerology proved to be an extremely interesting experience. i wish i had my write-up sitting here in front of me (rather, i have an extremely well-crafted egg salad/lettuce/tomato wrap, cold cup of coffee (a #2 day), and diet vanilla pepsi in close proximity).

...ok anyhow.. back to business. it was different than anything i've experienced (palm readings, all types of horoscopes, info about moons and risings, tarot, etc etc)

why? well, mainly because there was a serious focus on your previous life and its effect on your current one.

now, if you think that all that is a load of sh*t, then you might not buy into, or enjoy, any of this. so then, stop reading...

if not, this is what i was told: each fetus, upon conception (i would guess) chooses who they want to be born to and the exact time of their birth. once born, each individual has what one would call karmic lessons. these are lessons from your previous life that were left unresolved in that previous life. thus, you are coming back once again, to complete/ resolve them. for example, my friend chloe's life lessons are the numbers 2 and 8. each number stands for something different. two = relationships. 8 = balance between spirit and material worlds. what that means is that she was born into her current life with a purpose, a goal, to complete- and this goal is to work on both relationships and balancing her spiritual and material worlds. interesting, i think. and if i might add, her life is freakishly based around certain relationships and various difficulties in balancing her spiritual and material worlds (and she's a libra nonetheless, geez).

now, what about me, you might be wondering. why am i going into great depth about this here chloe's karmic lessons when this blog is, in fact, danielle's. well, because, i have not a thing to say about my own. in having my numbers done, i have learned that i was born into this world with no (meaning zero, zip, zilch) karmic lessons. really, it can happen.

what my numerologist told me was that i didn't actually need to come back, i chose to come back. for one reason or another, i felt i should be here. i felt i had something i needed to give to the world. could have been for many reasons, could be just one. but, i will have to figure out what my purpose truly is, on my own (is what she said).

in all honesty, all i could think was..."well, isn't that something. i've been trying to figure that out for 25 years now." what is my purpose? life long goals? great questions. so, i was left with these questions just sitting there, lingering about in my head....

i've read zillions of write-ups on the characteristics of aquarians and virgos and caps and all of the signs, for that matter, and each time i read one i walk away satisfied. i fit the bill. or someone i know most certainly does. i am a true aquarius [free-spirited, creative (i like to think), unique (again...i like to think), and i LOVE my space] with a virgo moon (yes, i'm anal. i LOVE organization. and i'm sometimes critical) and i hide under the guise of my capricorn rising (you'd never know i was an aquarius b/c i come off quite serious, driven, etc). and that's that. its all true. and satisfying. and me.

so you can only imagine where the numerology initially left me. take a guess....

yup- confused. i have no purpose?! i have to figure it out myself?! thanks. and thanks. i sure do love these numbers (that i don't even have).

but now...with a few weeks of newly realized purposeless living under my belt, i've come to see this whole experience in a different light. if i chose to be here, then i ought to be performing acts of kindess while i can, truly affecting others, living it up, right?

that's what i thought too. so, in that case, i'm off to become a pirate. yes, a pirate.

okay, maybe not...yet.

honestly though, a couple of silly numbers truly have changed my life. already. hell, i started this here blog because of them. and i'm reconsidering my career choices. because, you know what...as cliche as it may sound...you only life once...

...antics and all...

new york, like most other cities, is a haven to great little pubs. some divy and quiet. some blaring music & offering elbow room only. this weekend brought me to one right smack in the middle of both. a great, little, perfectly crowded, Irish pub in the Village. enjoyable music including but not limited to classical rock (i recall hearing Shakedown Street at some point). a variety of great beers (Guinness, Magic Hat, Sierra Nevada, Brooklyn Lager, etc) and both bartenders and a crowd that were quite friendly.
with thanks to Hoboken's St. Patty's day celebration, we were all graced with the presence of an absurdly drunk guy.
i must say his tactics were quite entertaining. he somehow thought that trying to run out and then right back into the bar (often forgetting he was still holding a drink, thus slowing his process down a bit and making him all the more obvious) would disguise the fact that he was the drunk guy that was indeed cut off by the bartender. several times, apparently.
unfortunately for him, the staff wasn't as drunk as he was.
the whole affair began to remind me of a reverse episode starring my dog Lucy...escaping out the back door, wagging her tail in the glory of her successful escape, only to be dragged right back in just moments later.
after approximately three fruitless attempts at another beer, and a few variations from the original "out-in" method (my favorite including a full speed run towards the wall nearest door, a slide of his drink onto nearest table, and then a run out door) he was permanently escorted from the pub (with friend in tow this time).
...and i must say, a little piece of me hoped for his grand re-entrance at some point, purely because i wanted a tiny bit of his determination to rub off on me...
if you want to check out the scene of the crime... the four-faced liar

on ID badges...

...mine, fondly referred to as "Big Ugly"...

so, recently i've been getting de-activated on my floor for reasons unbeknownst to me.

this has now occurred twice in the past month or so. needless to say, i've begun asking my bosses whether or not they have something that they forgot to tell me...

anyhow, it requires me to voyage downstairs with a letter from my VP insisting that i do indeed work here (phew)

well this particular time, rather than waiting at the security desk for several minutes, only to be told that i need to continue trying to make my card work [requires my taking the elevator back up to the 28th floor, trying unsuccessfully to get in, having someone buzz me in, going back to my cubicle, calling the man downstairs, telling him it doesn't work, trying process once again, calling man again, and back downstairs i go], I was beckoned in to the security office immediately....

Why? why, one might ask? I'll tell ya. Because the woman making my card saw "big ugly" and didn't think it was actually me. Yes, really, this did happen. the conversation went something like this...

"is this you?"

"Umm, unfortunately, yes-- i hate that picture. its just really bad."

"Ohhh, i didn't believe that was you, that's why i had Ted bring you in here."

"ahh, yeahhhhh, it is."

"wow, sweetie, sit down, we're getting you a new picture."

"Really?!?!"

"Uh huh, just sit right there."

so that's the good part. a new picture. finally.

sad part is, the name "Big Ugly" shall live on, as it didn't come out much better...